It all started with a rock!: February 2010

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Amy Elizabeth

For a year and a half now, I've known and for just over a year I've been married to Amy and in a year roughly, we've had our share of trials. In the past 5 months I've had an overwhelming trial of being unemployed. It's been tough to say the least! We've had to cut our living to essentials only but we've have had tons of help from countless people. Family, friends and our LDS faith. We have been steadfast in prayer and our tithes to find an answer.

I have tried countless times to find work through the internet using a variety of websites, Yahoo, MSN, KSL, ldsjobs, etc.. with several interviews and always turned down. Even my recent interview which was very promising, but to no avail. I've had several very depressing days with today being the hardest one yet! Complete emotional overload!! The only way to describe what I was going through this morning. I had looked over at least 500 job listings and some very disturbing thoughts flooded my mind! I can't describe them, but they went from bad to worse, even suicide came to mind. The sadness that followed was overwhelming and I had a rush of anger, such anger I have never felt before! I just sat here wondering where it had come from and when it would end. I had to try hard to think straight and thought of Amy. Without much thought, I had gotten to my feet, walked into my room, knelt down and cried uncontrollably for about 20 minutes!! Through my sobs, I was able to plead for Mersey from the Lord for these feelings to leave my mind, which they did immediately!

Amy came home shortly thereafter and found me in such a delicate state and I was able to relay to her what had happened. She began to cry and went into the other room for a minute or so and when she returned, she told me that she arranged for some more time at home before work. It was the best afternoon I've ever known! To spend such valuable time with the love of my life and to feel of her compassion and love for me!

The utter hopelessness and shame (that I have felt) to not even land the simplest job to ease our tension would still not have brought me to such things as I thought today, as it would most undoubtedly have ruined more than just Amy and the rest of her life!

Rest assured that I have not and will not give up on my life nor Amy's life and I continue to search for a job that will at least give me comfort. But I will always have the comfort companionship and love with Amy.

This has been a hard trial and as it continues I hope that no one else has to suffer from it. But I know that there are countless others in the same place with the same thoughts and my prayers are with you!

I Love You Amy

Monday, February 1, 2010

Sacramento

Amy and I went to Sacramento a few weeks ago to visit her family. George and Amy and their 3 girls, Sara, Kate and Juliette. Gideon and Becky and of course Nathan ummm, I mean Tripp! I had never met George and his family and I hadn't met Gideon and his wife. Amy took me to see the Sacramento Temple which was dedicated in 2006. It is a very pretty Temple and I love the trees around it as well. Amy also took me and Sara and Kate to San Fransisco. I've never seen the Golden Gate Bridge and now I understand all of the commotion and that bridge. It's dang big!! We walked across it and got to see a really big ship pass under us. After that we rode the B.A.R.T. into S.F. It goes pretty fast and under the ocean between Oakland and S.F. When we got into S.F. Amy showed us a really big mall, about 8 stories and the escalators were curved like half moons. We went all the way to the top and back then we went and rode the famous San Fransisco Trolleys to Ghirardelli Square and back. That was totally worth it! On our last day in Roseville, we met up with my brother in law, Shane. He has a job with Cal Trans. We had a ton of fun and miss George and Amy, Gideon and the rest and of course we miss Sacramento, but we don't miss the drive. Here are some pics from our trip. (Click on pics to enlarge)